Breastfeeding After Infertility

Breastfeeding After Infertility 

By Ashlei Moch

If I'm being completely honest, the first thing I thought after my son Morgan was born was how am I going to be able to breastfeed him? My body failed me time after time while trying to conceive him and despite having him in my arms, parts of me still felt broken and less of a woman. So when the nurses asked me whether I would be breastfeeding him or not I simply said "I guess I'll try." I had zero expectations. The first day in the hospital went okay. I felt like I could maybe get the hang of it once I was home in my own element. Day two on the other hand was a disaster. My milk hadn't yet come in and my 9 pound 1 ounce baby was becoming increasingly hungry with every feed. The nurses shuffled in breast pumps, both electronic and hand pumps. Trying to pump nothing was extremely painful and I felt defeated already. The morning we were discharged, I had the doctors approve formula so Morgan could eat something. We were given some pre-made bottles to take home with us and by the time we were leaving the hospital I felt down right depressed about the situation. I felt as if I was already failing him and he was only two days old. Later that afternoon after we were home, I noticed my supply was starting to trickle in. I continued to get him to latch on so he could get whatever he could. I used the hand pump to keep my supply up but I was extremely sore. I don't think I realized how painful breastfeeding could be. A few days later I purchased a shield to help with some of the pain. As the weeks and months passed things became easier. Morgan was latching and thriving with every feed. Eventually I weaned him off the shield.  Before I knew it he was a year old and we were still going strong. Today, he is over 17 months old, I am 15 weeks pregnant with his baby sister and he is still breastfeeding. I would have never guessed in a million years that I would have ever made it this far. I pushed myself, had faith and never gave up. Although it was difficult in the beginning, my journey breastfeeding my son has been beyond magical and I'm forever thankful for the bond we share because of it