Two mothers perspectives about doula support during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Excitement, anticipation, anxiety.

These are emotions that many may experience during pregnancy. Then, on March 22nd, a hospital in neighboring NY announced that it would not allow any support persons in the room while the laboring parent gave birth. You can read more about it here. Less than a week later, an order from the governor stated that would not be the case and women would be allowed a support person while giving birth.

Enter Fear.

As you can imagine, this sent many pregnant women in CT, and all over the country into a state of panic; would they have to give birth alone? For some women who had already decided to hire a doula as a professional support to their families, some hospitals made decisions to limit the support person to one. Many birthing people (and justifiably so) will or have chosen to have their partners with them in person.

Currently in CT, the majority of hospitals have stuck with the one support person rule. Few are still allowing doulas in, viewing our roles as essential and invaluable support, especially during this difficult time.

One of my recent clients birthed at a hospital with the one person rule. The rule was changed the night before her scheduled induction:

I had the pleasure of having Desirae as a doula for my fourth birth. I loved getting to know her during our prenatal visits and I know my husband, who is the worrier of the two of us, felt more at ease knowing she was a phone call or text away anytime he was concerned about something. I was completely calm and at ease my entire pregnancy, until the night before I was to be induced, the hospital set visitor restrictions because of COVID-19. I learned just hours before I was supposed to go in, that I would only be able to have one support person, meaning that I could not have my mother or Desirae in the room with me. My mother had been at my previous three births and is the most calming presence for me. All of my strategies for remaining calm went out the window, and I had a full blown panic attack for the first time in my life. I FaceTimed Desirae hysterically crying, but she was able to bring me back to earth. She suggested that I call my doctor and ask if they would make any exceptions, since there was no time for me to prepare for this change and because I would be getting induced with no pain meds. Thankfully, my doctor and the labor and delivery floor allowed Desirae to be a part of my birth team, but would still not allow my mother. I spoke at length with Desirae on the phone that night and she helped me wrap my head around this news. Although I was so thankful to be allowed to have her and my husband in the room, I was mourning my mother not being able to be there. The next day began my induction, which was more complicated and lengthy than I was expecting. Desirae was amazing at helping us through the twists and turns, giving me pep-talks when things stalled, reassuring my husband when he was nervous, and being an unbelievable cheerleader as I begin active labor and pushing. I don’t know what I would have done without her in the room. This labor and delivery was so unique for me, in that I had a lot of new emotions and last minute changes to deal with.  After the labor and delivery of our beautiful baby girl, my husband texted Desirae anytime he was nervous about me bleeding or anything happening with the baby. She FaceTimed me when I needed breast-feeding support when we got home from the hospital and has continued to be a wonderful support for both of us. We are so thankful that Desirae was able to be a part of our pregnancy and birth story! 

Nurse, client, andI so grateful for being allowed the second support person during the pandemic.

What happens to those who will not be allowed to have their doula’s (or support person should they test positive for COVID-19) in the room with them? Is virtual support a “good” option?

(taken with permission from a Facebook post)…I wanted to give a huge shoutout to our doula Desirae Whittle. She is definitely a familiar face on this page, but I cannot express how much she helped us throughout our pregnancy and the uncertainty of delivering during a pandemic. I am the type of person who asks a million questions about everything and Desirae answered a million and one. I was having a lot of anxiety about support restrictions at the hospital and pain management in general. Earlier in March when information was changing daily, Desirae initiated a contingency plan on how we would deal if she weren’t allowed in the hospital. This made me feel a lot safer and more prepared to deal with all of the uncertainties. While I ended up having a c-section (also not part of the plan!) Desirae made sure she was available to talk at anytime, and we had several FaceTime conversations from the hospital. She also continues to follow up with us and let’s us know she’s here to help even postpartum. If you are thinking about getting a doula, but aren’t sure because of Covid19, I would still highly recommend doing so. Honestly, having her support during this time was invaluable. 

(She snapped this great shot of one of our conversations from the hospital)

Support is not a luxury. It makes a huge difference in so many circumstances in our lives; birth is not any different. Support right now might look a bit different, but it remains just as beneficial, if not more. You deserve support and advocacy. Talk to your providers and doula about how we can all work together to support you and your partner during this time. In person, virtually, or a combination of both, we will get you through this very special time in your life.

Personally, I know times are very tough. Emotionally, financially. I am working with my clients on lower deposits and payment plans if need be. Please reach out if this is a concern for you. Let’s work together.

Special thanks to my clients for allowing me to share their words and images.